Category Archives: Housewife

You never said it would be easy

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It’s 4:00 AM and I just put Thomas back down from his “midnight bottle.” Seven-and-a-half months into my membership of the Two Two and Under Club, I’m still not completely accustomed to having divided attention or so little sleep. It’s all taken its toll, too, though most of the stress comes from myself and not from my precious new baby. There have been stretches of days and even weeks when I felt that I couldn’t do it anymore; that my multi-faceted role as wife/mother/home-manager/friend/volunteer/editor/writer/individual had me spread too thin to the point that I had little to contribute to any of aspect of my life. I felt that it was all just a wash and for the most part, I wanted to lock myself in our room to wait out the whining, laundry, and my own weakness. Breathing my mantra “This too shall pass,” offered little solace.

Waiting out weakness, it seems, only makes you weaker.

Granted, there have been occasions when buckling under pressure was legit – when I’m pleading for 5 minutes to get a shower or solitude in a separate room from my sweet boys; but, I have allowed my once strong constitution to atrophy because I haven’t maintained my spiritual life. Until recently, I was stupefied as to what the solution to my anguish could possibly be. I perceived no foreseeable end but told myself that I had to be self-sustaining and to just plow through until the boys are grown and dinner can make itself. I’ve spent so much energy trying to keep my spirits above water or clamoring around for a hand to pull me from drowning that I haven’t noticed the steady presence of the life preserver floating next to me. I will certainly, ably, and joyfully walk on water amid the storm if I only keep my eyes to the Lord. Praise God for revealing this to me so repeatedly!

There cannot be true peace without Christ. I happily resign to the truth that I can handle stresses neither great or small on my own, but only by the grace of Him who allowed these things to come to me. Trusting in God is one’s highest wisdom and deepest consolation.

Trust in God and hope that He will grant you every grace. Do not rely on yourself, but rather on the Lord… – St. Gerard Majella

Angelic Sweetness

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I have a spiritual accountability partner (henceforth referred to as SAP). Like many souls, my drive and motivation tend to fluctuate and I can’t tell you how this girl helps keep my heart above water. We check up on each other every few weeks and though our discussion frequently strays from the spiritual to the domestic, I’m always inspired at the close of our conversations. We haven’t been doing this for long, but it’s certain that God is working through her to move my soul. The other day we were talking about disciplining young toddlers and she mentioned maintaining “the angelic sweetness of Mary” toward both her little ones and husband. Since our conversation, this phrase has been playing non-stop like a song in my head. I’ve read that angelic sweetness stems from a prayer life that is constant – a life that is centered on God. What’s particularly wonderful to me personally is that my confessor recently advised me to always stay in touch with God; to bring Him everything – EVERYTHING. (Side note: How cool that my SAP and confessor mentioned the same ideas around the same time!) I want to bring God all matters great and simple because I know that without Him, I’m nothing but bad habits on two legs.

Ok – for example :) It’s rough getting out the door to scoot about town running errands with Liam and a [very large and active] in-utero baby boy – I need the diaper bag, keys, my wallet, the to-do list, Liam of course, energy, God’s grace, and a third arm. Hauling everything and everyone out to the car after first setting the house alarm and locking the door is a juggling act; and in this relentless heat of the South, it’s sticky and frustrating. This is the type of thing I want to remember to bring to Christ, asking Him to get the little men and me to the car, strapped in, and on the road. Will disaster strike somewhere between the front door and end of the driveway? Probably not, but knowing that Christ is present in my endeavors strengthens my will profoundly. In bringing Him everything that’s on my heart – each stress and joy – my soul will certainly obtain angelic sweetness. I have long had the desire to be sweet, but could never put my finger on how to go about it. Prayer should not be limited to a routine 15 minutes a day, 20 seconds before dinner, or 1 hour per week; rather, it should be breath, constantly flowing in and out of my soul, receiving the love of God and offering it back to Him. It goes without saying, however, that the virtue of constant prayer develops from these instances of habitual and ritual prayer.

The other part of the concept of “the angelic sweetness of Mary” is the Blessed Mother. Consider how sweet she is – the Queen of even God’s heart. I was thinking the other day about how earth-shattering it would be to have Christ physically present in your family at all times as she and St. Joseph did. The quality of marriage they had must have been HUGE! and that’s what I want. To a certain degree, I’m limited because I wasn’t born without sin like Mary; but if I allow God’s grace in my soul and breathe prayer in and out, I can bring so much more to the table than what I do now. With just one person moving toward a life of prayer and virtue, things change for every surrounding life. My husband is already a “man after God’s own heart” and inspires me because he actively pursues to be even more so; and Liam sets a great example because he hasn’t even sinned yet, so I have to catch up! The truth is that developing angelic sweetness is a feat in itself, but when I do remember to offer Christ the on-goings of my mind and heart, there is nothing more comforting or empowering than His presence in every nook and cranny of my life. With persistence and the grace of God, this extraordinary virtue can become ordinary for my soul.

Weekly Snapshot:

  • My mother-in-law and aunts-in-law threw Thomas a baby shower just this past Saturday. It was so exciting because receiving the new things on his behalf made his imminent arrival a little more real to me. I’m pregnant. WHAT??!! It was a wonderful blessing and everyone had a great time!
  • Liam is 17 mos. now and I am LOVING this early-toddler stage! He is so sweet (with a bit of a bite sometimes) and we have a great time. He turned on his radio the other day and “Livin’ On Love” by Alan Jackson came on – he got up from the floor so he could shake his arms and bounce up and down (read: dance), and I swept him up and we laughed and danced and tickled to the whole song. What a BLAST! He is so playful and darling that I know when this passes, I will forever miss it. But at the same time, I’m so eager for the increase in fun his increase in age will allow!

  • Of the 7 women I know who were expecting at the beginning of the summer, 2 of them have delivered and 1 is having her baby on Friday! The domino-effect is underway and it won’t be long before it’s my turn! 7 more weeks til Thomas Joseph Gabriel arrives! In the beginning of my pregnancy, I thought it was taking FOREVER but I can’t believe it’s almost over. As of right now, he is pretty active and playful, which I’m sure will grow with his size. My due date is October 15th, but I’m crossing my fingers for an early delivery. Maybe on the 10th – his great-grandma’s, uncle’s, AND grandma’s birthday??
  • A big occupant of my time lately has been NESTING. When we found out that Thomas was a boy, I sat down and made a GIANT To-Do list for the house; deadline October 1st (I’d like to have it all out of the way WELL before the littler man arrives). I’m so proud to say that thanks to the unwavering and sacrificial support of my husband, there remains but a small handful of items to check off! I’ll have to post pictures soon, but the boys’ room is painted, decorations hung, bathroom tub re-caulked, living room rearranged, corners de-cluttered and closets purged – among other things. The summer has been VERY productive and so much fun! I’m all about doing it on a dime, too.
  • BEST for Last: Andrew is my hero and favorite person. Have I mentioned that? Last week he came home with a dozen roses and just the other night surprised me with a dinner date at a restaurant neither of us had tried! We’ve been having a great time lately and life is happily moving right along. It’s a blessing and sweet comfort to know that (God willing) he will be by my side for the rest of my life.

Obey your thirst

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I’m thirsty. I mean strangely and urgently thirsty. I could go for a tall drink of water at just about any given moment and until my thirst is quenched, I am fixed on getting another refill. It’s been going on for a while and could be part of pregnancy or just southern summer living; but what’s interesting is that I wasn’t aware of this insatiable thirst until today. Back from vacation and beat from readjusting to our normal routine, I foraged in the kitchen, looking for something to satisfy. Nothing seemed appetizing. Fresh fruit? Ham sandwich? Chocolate? No thanks. Running errands, I kept thinking of how easy and refreshing it would be to drive through somewhere for something, but no menu had what I was craving. Finally I came home, put Liam down for a nap, and sat down to a glass of ice water – ahhh… there it is. Simple and perfect. Just what I needed.

And so it goes with my soul. I’m a busy person, an enthusiastic do-er. I love making a list and checking tasks off. These days, I’ve occupied myself with home improvements and nesting – both of which are big thrills for me (as evidenced by my Nesting Notes below). When I complete one item, I glance at my To Do Today List and start another. Phone calls, laundry loads, eager trips to Target. The only thing I really put off is folding and putting away clothes :) Today I checked off everything I had planned, but I still felt an inner nagging as if I had left something unfinished. The floors were clean, the dishes done, as well as other chores, what else could I possibly have to do? Just like earlier when the only thing my body wanted was water, the only thing my soul wants is Living Water. Nothing else will satisfy.

The rector of our parish delivered a strong homily on Pentecost Sunday about the image of the Holy Spirit as water. Images of the Holy Spirit as fire or a dove are pretty common, but considering water brings a different understanding of Who the Holy Spirit is and what He provides. The Holy Spirit inspires and ignites like fire, but also calms and brings peace as with water. The last line of the second reading on Sunday said, “We were all given to drink of the one Spirit,” and I feel like I can’t get enough. In our room we have framed the initial verses of Psalm 63 written in calligraphy, “Oh God, you are my God – for you I long! … for you my soul thirsts, like a land parched, lifeless, and without water.” Life can’t be furthered without water and the spiritual life is no exception. Hands down, my favorite part of the homily on Sunday was when Father quoted St. Iranaeus:

Like dry flour, which cannot become one lump of dough, one loaf of bread, without moisture, we who are many could not become one in Christ Jesus without the water that comes down from heaven…we need the dew of God.

Without water, flour can’t become bread and feed others. It just sits there without serving a purpose. But add moisture, throw it in a hot oven, and flour can provide and further life for others. How can I serve and love my family if I have no Spirit? It’s amazing how a soul will be so parched as to drink the sand of a mirage, just because it doesn’t know any different. In my physical thirst I scoured the kitchen for the one thing I wanted and in my spiritual thirst, I busied myself with tasks and To-Dos hoping to find some fulfillment; when really the solution was so simple. I have re-started Introduction to the Devout Life by St. Francis de Sales (written for married laity so it’s perfect!) and I’m continuing to invite the grace of God to take over my restlessness. My soul will never find peace without the Holy Spirit, just like St. Augustine wrote “Our hearts are restless until they rest in you.” God is the Sole Satisfier.

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Weekly Snapshot:

  • We learned a couple of weeks ago that our new little one is a BOY! I am SO excited to be the mother of two fun, rough-n-tumble little boys. What an honor! I’ve been hovering around the Boys Bedroom aisle at Target (they will eventually share) and glowing at the idea of introducing them, “These are our sons…” SO exciting. Dinosaurs, airplanes, mud and sticks – I can’t WAIT!
  • We went on vacation with my family to Lake Okoboji in Iowa last week. I’m about 750 miles from my parents, my sister, and her family (and now officially 4,000 miles from my brother and his family in Alaska who couldn’t make it because of their recent move) so seeing them is always exciting and refreshing. We spent the week on the lake, went to a theme park nearby, took a cruise one evening, and went swimming or played Apples to Apples in any down time. Liam LOVED being with “big kids” and since we’ve come home, he’s even more vocal than he was before.

Dinnertime with Liam…and Jesus (the picture of whom is in a corner of the dining room) :)

Nesting Notes (just for fun):

After we learned that our new baby is a boy, I drafted what was initially a short list of home To-Dos – deadline October 15, the Little Man’s due date. Needless to say, I’m still adding to the endless scroll of tasks, which is organized by room – even the hallway. I’m proud to report that several items are totally checked off, one of which the most daunting and that was the linen closet. It used to be folded chaos of sheets, towels, table cloths with my sewing kit buried, the humidifier hidden, and Andrew’s tool box – YIKES. I’m happy to say that it has since been transformed to clear organization. I fold a set of sheets and then put them all in one corresponding pillow case. On Clean Sheets Day, I just grab a pillow case and BADA BING! it already has everything in it. This arrangement is superior to rummaging through trying to find all the matching pieces. Simple and easy. I wish I could claim this ingenuity as my own, but really I got the idea from my space-saving-savvy sister :) Folks, I could really REALLY get used to this. The rush is fantastic.

What’s not to love?

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I make no secret of the fact that I’m crazy about my husband. That he’s sweet to me, that he’s hilarious, or that we have a super-high-quality relationship. Andrew and I are the best of friends and he’s my favorite person on the face of the earth for a whole SLEW of reasons.

… don’t worry, I won’t list them. I don’t think the Internet has enough space. The point is that I am ready to acknowledge the goodness in him because I love it. It’s natural, isn’t it, to appreciate the goodness in another person? Even if you don’t express it outwardly, seeing goodness in another is what draws you to them. For instance, I could go on and on about my best friend Erin and how I’m SURE she’s the sweetest, purest soul to have ever lived; and no one can wear periwinkle blue like my mom who looks absolutely stunning in it.  What’s interesting is that nowadays, complimenting another person, either directly or in conversation with a third party, is sometimes taken as manipulation. What’s your angle? What do you expect to get out of being nice? Or if jealousy is involved, people don’t compliment at all because they’re too preoccupied with coveting. Equally unfortunate is that recognizing good in ourselves is widely seen as vanity and pride.

Since acknowledging positive qualities in other people is good and acceptable, why wouldn’t doing the same for yourself be so? You should love yourself – not just like yourself or appreciate bits and pieces of your personality, but I’m talking the whole package. Your own body and soul, your achievements great or small, your tendencies, etc. Love it all. Take a second to list a few things that you love about yourself. It’s a bit of a challenge for me and I admit that I hesitate. Ask someone to list what they dislike about themselves and the litany begins; ask someone what they love and they might hem and haw, “Gosh, I don’t know!” or maybe they’ll muster the courage to admit they have straight teeth. Why do people in general hesitate to acknowledge their gifts and talents? The truth is that doing so isn’t actually vanity, but an aspect of humility as long as your approach is right.

Humility is knowledge of self, according to St. Catherine of Siena, and part of knowing yourself is recognizing A) that you have blessings and achievements and B) that they come from your Creator. A bit of logic: God is good. We are made in His image and likeness. Therefore, we have goodness within us. So go for it!  Acknowledge God’s goodness within yourself. It’s about putting your worth in God; more specifically that you are spectactular because of the gifts and talents He bestowed upon you. It’s not vain to be proud of these things, it’s vain to credit yourself for them. God blessed me differently than He has any other soul – I am unique, special, and beautiful because of it. It’s funny how difficult that is for me to say. It’s important to note that this same approach applies to recognizing the goodness in others – it’s all a way of praising God.

My friend Alzbeta wrote a post to this effect and challenged her readers to list what they love about themselves. I’ll start here, but I’d also like to know what you love about yourself. Write it in a comment, a Facebook status, blog about it, whatever! Take pride in your humility and go ahead! tell me how great you are at painting or public speaking and know that your value isn’t in the gift itself, but the Giver.

What I love about myself -

  • I love that I excel in a professional atmosphere. I love the thrill of mastering something new, making deadlines, and the surge of satisfaction when I produce something that surpasses expectation.
  • I love that I have a great marriage! Andrew and I need each other and love each other and say so all the time.
  • I love that I am very good with grammar and I use words well.
  • I love that I am a happy person who fervently believes in finding joy in the little things.
  • I love that I am a joyful during pregnancy, delighting in our new little gift.

Your turn!

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Weekly Snapshot:

  • At 2 pm on TOMORROW, we find out if this little one inside is Sugar & Spice or another addition of Snips & Snails :) I have been waiting so excitedly for this day and I can’t wait! I feel like I’m waiting for Christmas!
  • I presently have a fresh batch of brownies cooling on my stove. My friend from college used to bring brownies from home all the time and they had melted Andes Mints on them – DELISH. Though my batch isn’t adorned with Andes, I put some hazelnut chocolate squares on the brownies right when they came out of the oven so a nice shell will form on top. With a fresh pot of coffee when Andrew gets home, it’ll be the perfect “Welcome Home From Work” snack :)
  • Last night I had an insatiable urge to get up and get goin’ and after starting on a pleasant, evening walk, I turned around to go home and cut the grass. SO GOOD. Mowing the lawn has always been one of my favorite household chores and I spent about an hour cutting the front and sweeping the sidewalk and porch. I hear my dad echoing in my head, “Always looks better when it’s clean!”
  • When Liam wakes up from his naps, he yanks the cord of a musical stuffed animal on his crib to make it play. Everytime it reminds me of a butler bell – as if he’s summoning us to come get him.

Life Labored & Laden

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Life sure gets busy doesn’t it?

We excitedly moved into very own house a year ago in June and since then, we’ve been waiting with bright, hopeful eyes (maybe it’s just been me) for life to settle down and slip into some state of normalcy. Uhh…yeah right. Owning a home, it seems, involves more financial demand than the monthly note and not just because of the house itself, but living in a home and being a family has a bit of chaos stirred in as well. No doubt that, like most bits of Life Wisdom, I had to learn this one on my own, rather than hearing about it from someone who’s been there or who is there.

Our car was totaled, our 60-year-old tree is falling apart, the plumbing is going haywire, and the washer is broken - on top of the little here-and-there stressors from the daily experience. All of this “Life Happens” stuff has been just a touch overwhelming lately.  Don’t get me wrong, I’ve seen and realized that God has provided for us more than we could have possibly hoped! but in hindsight, I’m astonished at how easily I stooped to discontentment and just being a GRUMP about everything. I’ve always thought of myself as a perky, happy, contented sort of person; and not just happy, but strong in my happiness with little that could shake me. I think what would really help me maintain this peace is if I answered a persistent echoing I’ve been hearing in my soul – Give Me your burdens.

Type A, Type B – I’m not sure where I fall with either personality, but I do know that I like projects. I’m detail-oriented and I enjoy managing and being a real go-getter. What goes hand-in-hand with all of this is that I get stuck in the rut of “I Can Do It Myself.”  So stuck in fact, that it doesn’t even occur to me to ask help from anyone, even God. Especially God. But over the past couple of months, I’ve heard 3 or 4 different people each mention that after submitting their anxieties to Christ, life was happier and easier; though the burden may still have been present, knowing that it was in God’s hands was enough to make them stop worrying. God doesn’t just accept our burdens, He wants to take them from us; He wants us to entrust Him with every bit of joy and anxiety in life. After being beckoned so persistently by God in this way, I feel that I’ve finally heeded His plea for my soul. A soul who entrusts all to God is lighter and at peace, even with the world spinning and crumbling. Where have I been??

On a very related note, I’ve had the song “Everything” by Lifehouse in my head lately and I remembered seeing a skit  set to it on YouTube. I found it online the other day and watched it just for kicks, but I was blown away at how profoundly it addressed the on-goings of my heart.

Though the trials in the skit are certainly not my own, the point is that life, sin, and temptations can consume me; but I CAN submit all to God – hopes, anxieties, troubles – and He absolutely wants them. While putting all of myself in His hands, I will be at peace. “Come to me all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.” (Matthew 11:28) Give Me your burdens. Dearest Jesus, why did it take me so long?

Have no anxiety at all, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving
make your requests known to God. And the peace of God which surpasses all understanding
will keep your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4: 6-7)

Weekly Snapshot:

  • Just ONE WEEK until we find out what Baby #2 is! When people ask me what we’re having I say, “It’s a girl, but we find out at the end of May.” I was 100% certain with Liam that he was a boy and as soon as we learned we were expecting this baby, I exclaimed with the same confidence, “It’s a girl!!” Of course, we’ll see how good my Mother’s Intuition is a week from now :) Aside from a couple of instances of indulgent eating, I’ve felt fantastic this trimester. Movin’ right along with just about 5 months left!
  • God has not just smiled upon us, He’s grinning ear to ear in our direction: We got a Honda Odyssey!! Though I’ve been calling it the Honda Fantasy :) After a poignant trade-in of my Ford Pride & Pickup for 7 years, I proudly cruise the concrete in our own Swagger Wagon and I love it. So much space and room for plenty more little ones and all of their accessories. Road trips will be a BREEZE in this thing!
  • I took Andrew out on a surprise date the other night and arranged for Liam’s Aunt Mikki to stay at the house after he went down. Andrew didn’t suspect a THING and we had a great time getting ice cream and walking around downtown. We were pretty beat after our excursions to Yankee Candle and Bass Pro, so we watched The King’s Speech (fantastic) when we got home. Andrew asked me back when we were engaged if I expressed my love for him the way I hoped it would be expressed to me. Since then, I’ve tried to act on this challenge: surprises, little notes, and happy greetings for him when he comes home from work or anywhere else. SO fun :)

It seems that the Lord is VERY kind and merciful

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Happy Easter! and Happy Mother’s Day!!

In my last post, I boldly challenged myself (and anyone else!) to avoid excessive computer use for the duration of Lent. The goal was to use my computer for online bill pay and occasional email only – what bliss! what freedom. I could tell a difference even the night before I began! Because I knew the next day I wouldn’t end up chaining myself to my desk, I was joyful and my soul felt light; which to me was highly indicative that my own immoderate computer use was weighing me down emotionally and spiritually. Now, I know myself. I’m easily eager to tackle big goals and then I bite off more than I can chew and then I throw my arms up in the air in submission and THEN I give up the whole thing. So naturally, I was concerned that I wouldn’t do well and I admit that later in Lent, I slipped and fell quite a bit. The success I did have, however, did wonders for my family and my soul. I focused more on Andrew and Liam and our house was much happier. I prayed more and reflected more – I worked on the habit of “praying without ceasing” by offering Christ my actions and thoughts each day. Instead of sighing to myself in exhaustion and defeat, I would ask God to be with me and the graces were so abundant! I read somewhere that the Virgin Mary said that there are so many graces that the Lord is ready and willing to give, but people don’t ask for them or aren’t open to receiving them.

My favorite spiritual goal, fueled by the life experiences and wise insights of a friend, is to be  continuously aware that God is working his plan non-stop in my own life and in the life of my family. Though I know He has always been, it became SUPER clear to me just over a week ago when disaster struck. To make a terribly long story short, I was cozily settled in for a girls night to watch the Royol Wedding at my aunt’s house when the next door neighbor called; I heard only a few crucial bits on speaker phone: “Do you know the owner of the Honda Accord parked outside? … a drunk driver crashed into it and…” I jumped up from the couch and dashed outside to see our lovely family car crumpled like aluminum foil with the front of an old SUV smashed into the tail. I was dizzy from the whirlwind of commotion, but from the start of it all to the moment we finally laid our heads to rest that night, God’s grace was overwhelmingly present. The driver of the SUV was able to walk out of his car, the police were GREAT, it was nice and easy to communicate with our wonderful insurance company, and somehow both Andrew and I felt uncannily calm and collected in the midst of the whole crisis. Because we live in the same town as most of Andrew’s family, I was in very supportive company who offered to clean out the car, contact Andrew, and gave plenty of hugs while I worked with the local PD. My parents-in-law immediately and graciously offered us their van so we could still tote Liam around – our second vehicle is a modest Ford Ranger that could hardly accomodate a little one safely and we are searching hopefully for a new-to-us vehicle. Though a few routines are out of whack and life is a little different, the whole situation has been wrapped in God’s mercy. Andrew put it beautifully after I apologized to him for parking on such a busy street, “If the drunk driver hadn’t hit our parked car with nobody in it, he could have kept going and hit moving car with SOMEbody in it. Thanks be to God that everyone is safe.”

Another bittersweet flavor to last week was that, after much discernment and heartbreak, Andrew and I decided to return our dog Jack to the animal shelter. We had him for just under two months and though he was a bouncy, happy sort of dog, he was more exuberant than we could manage; even after his 2 mile walks and what started off as a pleasure became a hassle that prevented any quality family time we previously had. We’ve missed having Jack around, but the stress of having him has been relieved. We get to spend time together as a whole family and Andrew, who had been Jack’s primary caretaker, isn’t burdened with having to tame an excitable dog.      

The Lord IS kind and merciful and He gives and takes away. Though the past week has been a HUGE emotional gauntlet for Andrew and me, I can’t tell you how much closer we became. We truly clung to each other and acknowledged over and over again that we need each other in both trials and joys. What a blessing! God is wonderful and loving to us and we understand much better now the importance of faith and family.

Snapshot of Life!

  • I haven’t announced here yet, but Andrew and I are expecting a second little soul to grace our family around October 15th! I’m about 17 weeks right now and feeling fantastic. I’ve been much more active during this pregnancy than when I was expecting Liam and I am in great company too! I have five friends who are all having babies soon – July, August, September, and another in October just the week before me. The summer will be a little rough being “out to here” in the sweltering sun, but the delight and joy far surpasses anything the heat throws at me :)
  • In what seems to have been the beginning stages of NESTING, I decided the other day that we needed to rearrange our living room. Thanks be to God that we have wood floors so our couch and loveseat slid around super easily for this prego mama. Rearranging was a big thing for us growing up – it provides a refreshing perspective that makes you feel like you have a whole new room!
  • Speaking of Home Improvements: after a long, hot summer and a frigid winter spent in this house, we finally had our attic reinsulated. Twelve inches of pink stuff later, our A/C didn’t kick on for two days because of the way the house held the temperature. What relief! I can’t wait to see how much lower our electric bills will be over the next few months. We couldn’t have done it at a better time either – the forecast for our area is supposed to be WAY on the warm side next week.

Not a total Black-Out, but a Great Minimalization

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The yearly struggle with what to sacrifice for Lent came as expected. Facebook? The whole Internet? There’s no doubt about it that it’s the computer that I allow to stand in the way of my becoming a more disciplined person. I get so irked when others spend too much time online. And then I realized that old truth – the fact that what we often recognize in others can be found within ourselves - directly applied to me.

It was while this thought and discernment process was going on when I read this blog post. The author, Lindsay, is a friend of my sister’s and she’s a very thoughtful wife and mother. She proposed not just ridding herself of Facebook or extra time online, but the computer entirely. Taking a few weeks to prep for this endeavor – letting people know how to contact her, organizing finances so she wouldn’t need online banking – I can tell you with complete certainty that Lindsay’s computer is OFF this very minute, and will be for the duration of Lent.

Now, there are a few things I must use my computer to do, like writing articles for the Catholic Connection, but aside from what is absolutely necessary, I intend to follow Lindsay’s example of purging myself from all things computer related. I need more time to pray. I NEED more time to pray and I will have it. I need more time to devote to my vocation and family and I will have it. It’s amazing – the night before I began my efforts, I felt so free considering the day ahead, like I had a day off. Don’t misunderstand me – I’m not saying that the computer is bad. Not at all, it’s my constant inclination to sit down at it that is decreasing my quality of life.

I will resume blogging after Easter, and until then, use the time to journal, take care of my husband and family, and best and most importantly, PRAY. I will invite Christ to take over my life and will be infinitely happier for it.

Again, I encourage you to read Linday’s post on this challenge and consider to participate in all of it, or at least some. Go outside. Take your dog for a walk. Play with your children. Cuddle with your spouse. Love God and devote all of your time to Him.

This & That

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I couldn’t think of any one topic I wanted to digest, so here are a bunch of little thoughts: 

Daily Ritual

I have attained the discipline to become a daily-Masser. Andrew has been just wonderful in helping me achieve the motivation to counter any personal hesitation. On the days when I don’t have the virtue to get myself there, it’s enough knowing that I’m responsible for Liam’s exposure to all things Catholic; and more so, since Andrew has asked me to go each day, I do it out of spousal obedience as well. When we’re both prayerful and humble, our marriage is a million times better and we communicate beautifully.


In the News
I recently got a job as a copy writer for our diocesan magazine! My first article is being published TOMORROW and I can’t wait to see it in print! On the otherhand, I’m super nervous too because I know that my short blurb on being a Catholic wife is going to be in the mailboxes of everyone in our diocese – YIKES! God is so good to me. In addition to writing a few articles here and there, I’ll be doing a regular column called Domestic Church starting in July or August. I love marriage so much, my own especially, and God even more so – I can’t wait to be able to put my passion toward this kind of ministry.


Website Recommendation
For the kids or just for you! Check out kids-in-mind.com before you head to the theater or add a movie to your Netflix queue. It’s a great way to check a movie’s sexual, violent, or profane content before you see it and is far more effective than the current standard ratings. Think up a couple of movies that you think are acceptable, search for them on the site, and use that as a reference of severity per category. While some movies from the mid-nineties and back aren’t there, kids-in-mind.com covers most (if not all) movies from then to now. Andrew and I use it all the time and if a movie has ratings that are too high, we nix it from our list.


Purge Week & the NO BABY ZONE

  • Two weeks ago, I declared a PURGE WEEK for my wardrobe and a few closets in the house. I got a full trashbag of give-aways from my closet and dresser and then I filtered through each load of laundry, setting aside at least two pieces of my own clothing. I can’t believe how many t-shirts I had [have] that I don’t wear. Some items weren’t fit to donate to GoodWill - holey high school t-shirts and a pair of old sweats, for example – so I took some scissors to them and made a small pile of rags to keep in the garage. I was so proud of my resourcefulness :)
  • Our room has officially become a “NO BABY ZONE.” Liam’s stuff is all over our house: in the kitchen, in the dining room, in the family room, in the bathroom, a few little things in the guest room, and then he has his OWN room; so in an effort to truly make the master bedroom our sanctuary, I rid it of of any and all toys, socks, ointments, teething rings, etc. We do away with extra clutter, AND it makes the space a little more sacred. We still let Liam play with his toys in there, but as soon as he exits, so does his stuff without a moment’s delay. And a sanctuary it has become.


BONUS – In My Kitchen: [Almost] Guiltless Peanut Butter Pie
8 oz. lite Cool Whip
8 oz. lite cream cheese
1 c powdered sugar
1 c reduced fat PB (crunchy or creamy)
Whip it up in a large bowl and put into a ready-made graham cracker crust – freeze for a couple of hours to firm it up and baddabing! it’s done. The pie stands on its own feet, but I like to top mine with crushed pretzels and a swirl of cholate syrup. Savor this sweet recipe courtesy of my sister Jennifer!

Dusting Off Ambition

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A new post is overdue.

I’m a big project starter. I LOVE projects – in school I loved them and now I love them in my home; but when it comes to keeping up with a personal project, I’m typically a lit match: quick to flare up, quick to burn out. For years I’ve maintained the start-up motivation to keep a regular work-out schedule, journal daily, have a  regular prayer time – you get the gist. And while I might have a good first week with my sparkling endeavors, my persistence lags and the goal dissolves with the newness. I have a difficult time getting over the slump of something once the freshness has faded – am I alone on this one? My goal list is beautifully written with great intentions and bright visions of how my life will be once I start running and praying a Rosary every day – but that life of Accomplished Katie isn’t fully realized.

YET.

I write this in an effort to somehow shield my blog from becoming a dusty old project from way back when. I’m resolved to conquer the slump of Worn Off Novelty and to persist in my reflections on being a Catholic wife. Writing my thoughts, whether they’re read or not, has furthered my endeavors toward happy holiness and servitude to God and Andrew, and now Liam too. Though through other projects I have waxed and waned and let ambition go, this an occasion when I vow to not disappoint myself. I love God and holy marriage and writing – what better way to combine the three?

The idea of New Year’s resolutions tempts me and most years I don’t make even one; so many people set themselves up for failure and disappointment in their quick-starts, and I’m certainly no exception. This year however, as I sit 45 minutes away from New Year’s Eve, I have discovered the key to success is recalling twofold advice: the first, from Socrates, “Know thyself” and the second from the Archangel Gabriel, “For with God nothing will be impossible” (Luke 1:37). In knowing myself, I will be aware of my strenghts and weaknesses and so in establishing a New Year’s resolution based on these, I am really setting myself up for success instead of failure – ESPECIALLY if I submit all my goals to God.

So c’mon 2011 – hit me with your best shot.

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Practice makes perfect, but who wants that?

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It’s 9:30 the night before our trip to Omaha and I’m the only one awake. Andrew is fighting off a doozy of a cold and Liam has been asleep for a couple of hours by now; so here I sit in my own little vigil, eyeing a basket of whites to be folded, pining for the last few pages of Jane Eyre, and making a mental check list of snacks for the road.

Before any and all trips, I focus on cleaning the house. There is such delight in returning to a living room that needs no attention other than you stretching across the couch; a kitchen holding all sparkling dishes in the cabinets, and best of all, a bed already made and beckoning you to rest from the excursion. Traveling is stressful enough – who wants to arrive home to even more of it?

Though the pleasures of returning to a tidy living space are perfectly void of immediate duty, the pressure I used to apply to myself (I’m ashamed to admit, to Andrew as well) to have the house immaculate before travel was extreme. Even if we were going just for a couple of days, my irrational fixation would convince me that a later departure time was necessary or maybe we should just scrap the trip altogether. Add this to the tasks of packing and loading the car to make a wreck of a wife whose husband just wanted to have a getaway weekend. I look back on my former self and can’t help shaking my head at her – life is too short for such fits and fussing.

I’m thankful for God’s grace and my husband’s patience, the two things that steadily broke me of my fretting and furthered my efforts to do away with my perfectionism. Perfectionism is a dangerous thing, yet we who participate in it are delighted to do so! I love cleaning, but when it gets to the point that it’s no longer pleasant and it becomes an obsession, I have to check myself. I had a neighbor in high school who was constantly caring for his yard – blow, mow, edge, repeat – it seemed that his lawn couldn’t be perfect enough. Once acquainted with his family and having the opportunity to see inside his house, I found that this man’s need to have everything “just so” wasn’t limited to the grass. I couldn’t calculate the hours he spent outside perfecting his yard upon the time he must have spent inside as well. Here’s the kicker though: while his home was beautiful inside and out, it was apparent that he wasn’t a happy person. Now, perhaps his discontentment led him to pursue having the perfect property, but the point is that perfectionism is never successful. The very idea is self-refuting because it can never be achieved and therefore cannot make you happy; there is always one more thing to clean before the house is just right or one more leaf on the yard. Perfectionism is expressed in all sorts of ways, whether a person obsesses over an activity (athletics, cleaning) or people (trying to fix everyone else’s problems). It’s harmful not only because you can lose precious time washing your car in the rain, but also because you tend to find fault in others much more quickly and can then fall into bitterness. For more on this, read about Mary and Martha!

 In reflecting on the countless occasions my perfectionism has gotten the best of me, I wonder at the time I spent focusing on what could not be achieved while I could have put my effort toward having high quality time with family or friends. Or maybe even relaxing! Lately, I’ve been recalling John 10:10: “I have come that they may have life and have it to the full.” A full, robust, quality life is one concerned with loving God and being with others; taking things slowly instead of fretting over nothing. Dearest Lord help me remember this over the holidays!

Weekly Snapshot:

  • The view from my window has suddenly brightened over the past couple of weeks! The Chaplet & Chat Moms group met last week and we had a great time. I’ve also been spending a lot more time with friends and making a point to leave the house more often with Liam, even if it’s just a quick trip out.
  • There is nothing like the joy of two babies sleeping, a mug of honeyed tea in-hand, and a Very Thick Book to devour on a dreary November afternoon.
  • HAPPY THANKSGIVING! Today we embark on a journey to Nebraska! Oh Nebraska – where your highs are in the 40s and you sweeten my soul with promises of snow!