Despite growing up an Air Force brat with instilled, unfailing pride in America and the flag, I confess I giddily readied myself for the long Memorial Day weekend with ads. Lowe’s ads, Kohl’s ads, Pottery Barn, Bass Pro, etc. – … Continue reading
Our world has so many issues. Life, Marriage, Freedom, and Catholicism at large are all under terrible attack. Amid the distress and spiritual fatigue, let us have hope in the Lord’s perfect will and His omnipotence and “bow humble adoration and then proclaim, ‘My God! How great Thou art!’”
It’s 4:00 AM and I just put Thomas back down from his “midnight bottle.” Seven-and-a-half months into my membership of the Two Two and Under Club, I’m still not completely accustomed to having divided attention or so little sleep. It’s all taken its toll, too, though most of the stress comes from myself and not from my precious new baby. There have been stretches of days and even weeks when I felt that I couldn’t do it anymore; that my multi-faceted role as wife/mother/home-manager/friend/volunteer/editor/writer/individual had me spread too thin to the point that I had little to contribute to any of aspect of my life. I felt that it was all just a wash and for the most part, I wanted to lock myself in our room to wait out the whining, laundry, and my own weakness. Breathing my mantra “This too shall pass,” offered little solace.
Waiting out weakness, it seems, only makes you weaker.
Granted, there have been occasions when buckling under pressure was legit – when I’m pleading for 5 minutes to get a shower or solitude in a separate room from my sweet boys; but, I have allowed my once strong constitution to atrophy because I haven’t maintained my spiritual life. Until recently, I was stupefied as to what the solution to my anguish could possibly be. I perceived no foreseeable end but told myself that I had to be self-sustaining and to just plow through until the boys are grown and dinner can make itself. I’ve spent so much energy trying to keep my spirits above water or clamoring around for a hand to pull me from drowning that I haven’t noticed the steady presence of the life preserver floating next to me. I will certainly, ably, and joyfully walk on water amid the storm if I only keep my eyes to the Lord. Praise God for revealing this to me so repeatedly!
There cannot be true peace without Christ. I happily resign to the truth that I can handle stresses neither great or small on my own, but only by the grace of Him who allowed these things to come to me. Trusting in God is one’s highest wisdom and deepest consolation.
Trust in God and hope that He will grant you every grace. Do not rely on yourself, but rather on the Lord… – St. Gerard Majella
I have a spiritual accountability partner (henceforth referred to as SAP). Like many souls, my drive and motivation tend to fluctuate and I can’t tell you how this girl helps keep my heart above water. We check up on each other every few weeks and though our discussion frequently strays from the spiritual to the domestic, I’m always inspired at the close of our conversations. We haven’t been doing this for long, but it’s certain that God is working through her to move my soul. The other day we were talking about disciplining young toddlers and she mentioned maintaining “the angelic sweetness of Mary” toward both her little ones and husband. Since our conversation, this phrase has been playing non-stop like a song in my head. I’ve read that angelic sweetness stems from a prayer life that is constant – a life that is centered on God. What’s particularly wonderful to me personally is that my confessor recently advised me to always stay in touch with God; to bring Him everything – EVERYTHING. (Side note: How cool that my SAP and confessor mentioned the same ideas around the same time!) I want to bring God all matters great and simple because I know that without Him, I’m nothing but bad habits on two legs.
Ok – for example :) It’s rough getting out the door to scoot about town running errands with Liam and a [very large and active] in-utero baby boy – I need the diaper bag, keys, my wallet, the to-do list, Liam of course, energy, God’s grace, and a third arm. Hauling everything and everyone out to the car after first setting the house alarm and locking the door is a juggling act; and in this relentless heat of the South, it’s sticky and frustrating. This is the type of thing I want to remember to bring to Christ, asking Him to get the little men and me to the car, strapped in, and on the road. Will disaster strike somewhere between the front door and end of the driveway? Probably not, but knowing that Christ is present in my endeavors strengthens my will profoundly. In bringing Him everything that’s on my heart – each stress and joy – my soul will certainly obtain angelic sweetness. I have long had the desire to be sweet, but could never put my finger on how to go about it. Prayer should not be limited to a routine 15 minutes a day, 20 seconds before dinner, or 1 hour per week; rather, it should be breath, constantly flowing in and out of my soul, receiving the love of God and offering it back to Him. It goes without saying, however, that the virtue of constant prayer develops from these instances of habitual and ritual prayer.
The other part of the concept of “the angelic sweetness of Mary” is the Blessed Mother. Consider how sweet she is – the Queen of even God’s heart. I was thinking the other day about how earth-shattering it would be to have Christ physically present in your family at all times as she and St. Joseph did. The quality of marriage they had must have been HUGE! and that’s what I want. To a certain degree, I’m limited because I wasn’t born without sin like Mary; but if I allow God’s grace in my soul and breathe prayer in and out, I can bring so much more to the table than what I do now. With just one person moving toward a life of prayer and virtue, things change for every surrounding life. My husband is already a “man after God’s own heart” and inspires me because he actively pursues to be even more so; and Liam sets a great example because he hasn’t even sinned yet, so I have to catch up! The truth is that developing angelic sweetness is a feat in itself, but when I do remember to offer Christ the on-goings of my mind and heart, there is nothing more comforting or empowering than His presence in every nook and cranny of my life. With persistence and the grace of God, this extraordinary virtue can become ordinary for my soul.
Weekly Snapshot:
I make no secret of the fact that I’m crazy about my husband. That he’s sweet to me, that he’s hilarious, or that we have a super-high-quality relationship. Andrew and I are the best of friends and he’s my favorite person on the face of the earth for a whole SLEW of reasons.
… don’t worry, I won’t list them. I don’t think the Internet has enough space. The point is that I am ready to acknowledge the goodness in him because I love it. It’s natural, isn’t it, to appreciate the goodness in another person? Even if you don’t express it outwardly, seeing goodness in another is what draws you to them. For instance, I could go on and on about my best friend Erin and how I’m SURE she’s the sweetest, purest soul to have ever lived; and no one can wear periwinkle blue like my mom who looks absolutely stunning in it. What’s interesting is that nowadays, complimenting another person, either directly or in conversation with a third party, is sometimes taken as manipulation. What’s your angle? What do you expect to get out of being nice? Or if jealousy is involved, people don’t compliment at all because they’re too preoccupied with coveting. Equally unfortunate is that recognizing good in ourselves is widely seen as vanity and pride.
Since acknowledging positive qualities in other people is good and acceptable, why wouldn’t doing the same for yourself be so? You should love yourself – not just like yourself or appreciate bits and pieces of your personality, but I’m talking the whole package. Your own body and soul, your achievements great or small, your tendencies, etc. Love it all. Take a second to list a few things that you love about yourself. It’s a bit of a challenge for me and I admit that I hesitate. Ask someone to list what they dislike about themselves and the litany begins; ask someone what they love and they might hem and haw, “Gosh, I don’t know!” or maybe they’ll muster the courage to admit they have straight teeth. Why do people in general hesitate to acknowledge their gifts and talents? The truth is that doing so isn’t actually vanity, but an aspect of humility as long as your approach is right.
Humility is knowledge of self, according to St. Catherine of Siena, and part of knowing yourself is recognizing A) that you have blessings and achievements and B) that they come from your Creator. A bit of logic: God is good. We are made in His image and likeness. Therefore, we have goodness within us. So go for it! Acknowledge God’s goodness within yourself. It’s about putting your worth in God; more specifically that you are spectactular because of the gifts and talents He bestowed upon you. It’s not vain to be proud of these things, it’s vain to credit yourself for them. God blessed me differently than He has any other soul – I am unique, special, and beautiful because of it. It’s funny how difficult that is for me to say. It’s important to note that this same approach applies to recognizing the goodness in others – it’s all a way of praising God.
My friend Alzbeta wrote a post to this effect and challenged her readers to list what they love about themselves. I’ll start here, but I’d also like to know what you love about yourself. Write it in a comment, a Facebook status, blog about it, whatever! Take pride in your humility and go ahead! tell me how great you are at painting or public speaking and know that your value isn’t in the gift itself, but the Giver.
What I love about myself -
Your turn!
_________________________________________
Weekly Snapshot:
Life sure gets busy doesn’t it?
We excitedly moved into very own house a year ago in June and since then, we’ve been waiting with bright, hopeful eyes (maybe it’s just been me) for life to settle down and slip into some state of normalcy. Uhh…yeah right. Owning a home, it seems, involves more financial demand than the monthly note and not just because of the house itself, but living in a home and being a family has a bit of chaos stirred in as well. No doubt that, like most bits of Life Wisdom, I had to learn this one on my own, rather than hearing about it from someone who’s been there or who is there.
Our car was totaled, our 60-year-old tree is falling apart, the plumbing is going haywire, and the washer is broken - on top of the little here-and-there stressors from the daily experience. All of this “Life Happens” stuff has been just a touch overwhelming lately. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve seen and realized that God has provided for us more than we could have possibly hoped! but in hindsight, I’m astonished at how easily I stooped to discontentment and just being a GRUMP about everything. I’ve always thought of myself as a perky, happy, contented sort of person; and not just happy, but strong in my happiness with little that could shake me. I think what would really help me maintain this peace is if I answered a persistent echoing I’ve been hearing in my soul – Give Me your burdens.
Type A, Type B – I’m not sure where I fall with either personality, but I do know that I like projects. I’m detail-oriented and I enjoy managing and being a real go-getter. What goes hand-in-hand with all of this is that I get stuck in the rut of “I Can Do It Myself.” So stuck in fact, that it doesn’t even occur to me to ask help from anyone, even God. Especially God. But over the past couple of months, I’ve heard 3 or 4 different people each mention that after submitting their anxieties to Christ, life was happier and easier; though the burden may still have been present, knowing that it was in God’s hands was enough to make them stop worrying. God doesn’t just accept our burdens, He wants to take them from us; He wants us to entrust Him with every bit of joy and anxiety in life. After being beckoned so persistently by God in this way, I feel that I’ve finally heeded His plea for my soul. A soul who entrusts all to God is lighter and at peace, even with the world spinning and crumbling. Where have I been??
On a very related note, I’ve had the song “Everything” by Lifehouse in my head lately and I remembered seeing a skit set to it on YouTube. I found it online the other day and watched it just for kicks, but I was blown away at how profoundly it addressed the on-goings of my heart.
Though the trials in the skit are certainly not my own, the point is that life, sin, and temptations can consume me; but I CAN submit all to God – hopes, anxieties, troubles – and He absolutely wants them. While putting all of myself in His hands, I will be at peace. “Come to me all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.” (Matthew 11:28) Give Me your burdens. Dearest Jesus, why did it take me so long?
Have no anxiety at all, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving
make your requests known to God. And the peace of God which surpasses all understanding
will keep your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4: 6-7)
Weekly Snapshot:
The yearly struggle with what to sacrifice for Lent came as expected. Facebook? The whole Internet? There’s no doubt about it that it’s the computer that I allow to stand in the way of my becoming a more disciplined person. I get so irked when others spend too much time online. And then I realized that old truth – the fact that what we often recognize in others can be found within ourselves - directly applied to me.
It was while this thought and discernment process was going on when I read this blog post. The author, Lindsay, is a friend of my sister’s and she’s a very thoughtful wife and mother. She proposed not just ridding herself of Facebook or extra time online, but the computer entirely. Taking a few weeks to prep for this endeavor – letting people know how to contact her, organizing finances so she wouldn’t need online banking – I can tell you with complete certainty that Lindsay’s computer is OFF this very minute, and will be for the duration of Lent.
Now, there are a few things I must use my computer to do, like writing articles for the Catholic Connection, but aside from what is absolutely necessary, I intend to follow Lindsay’s example of purging myself from all things computer related. I need more time to pray. I NEED more time to pray and I will have it. I need more time to devote to my vocation and family and I will have it. It’s amazing – the night before I began my efforts, I felt so free considering the day ahead, like I had a day off. Don’t misunderstand me – I’m not saying that the computer is bad. Not at all, it’s my constant inclination to sit down at it that is decreasing my quality of life.
I will resume blogging after Easter, and until then, use the time to journal, take care of my husband and family, and best and most importantly, PRAY. I will invite Christ to take over my life and will be infinitely happier for it.
Again, I encourage you to read Linday’s post on this challenge and consider to participate in all of it, or at least some. Go outside. Take your dog for a walk. Play with your children. Cuddle with your spouse. Love God and devote all of your time to Him.
I couldn’t think of any one topic I wanted to digest, so here are a bunch of little thoughts:
Daily Ritual
I have attained the discipline to become a daily-Masser. Andrew has been just wonderful in helping me achieve the motivation to counter any personal hesitation. On the days when I don’t have the virtue to get myself there, it’s enough knowing that I’m responsible for Liam’s exposure to all things Catholic; and more so, since Andrew has asked me to go each day, I do it out of spousal obedience as well. When we’re both prayerful and humble, our marriage is a million times better and we communicate beautifully.
In the News
I recently got a job as a copy writer for our diocesan magazine! My first article is being published TOMORROW and I can’t wait to see it in print! On the otherhand, I’m super nervous too because I know that my short blurb on being a Catholic wife is going to be in the mailboxes of everyone in our diocese – YIKES! God is so good to me. In addition to writing a few articles here and there, I’ll be doing a regular column called Domestic Church starting in July or August. I love marriage so much, my own especially, and God even more so – I can’t wait to be able to put my passion toward this kind of ministry.
Website Recommendation
For the kids or just for you! Check out kids-in-mind.com before you head to the theater or add a movie to your Netflix queue. It’s a great way to check a movie’s sexual, violent, or profane content before you see it and is far more effective than the current standard ratings. Think up a couple of movies that you think are acceptable, search for them on the site, and use that as a reference of severity per category. While some movies from the mid-nineties and back aren’t there, kids-in-mind.com covers most (if not all) movies from then to now. Andrew and I use it all the time and if a movie has ratings that are too high, we nix it from our list.
Purge Week & the NO BABY ZONE
BONUS – In My Kitchen: [Almost] Guiltless Peanut Butter Pie
8 oz. lite Cool Whip
8 oz. lite cream cheese
1 c powdered sugar
1 c reduced fat PB (crunchy or creamy)
Whip it up in a large bowl and put into a ready-made graham cracker crust – freeze for a couple of hours to firm it up and baddabing! it’s done. The pie stands on its own feet, but I like to top mine with crushed pretzels and a swirl of cholate syrup. Savor this sweet recipe courtesy of my sister Jennifer!
I’m a big Garth Brooks fan. I was 4 when “Friends in Low Places” came out and that has been my favorite song for as long as I can remember. My dad and I collected all the Garth albums and I jumped at the chance to see him live in 2007. I was absolutely beside myself – after he retired in 2000, I thought for sure that this day would never come. My friends and I dashed to the show, complete with cowboy hats and boots. I’ll never forget the anticipation of his HUGE entrance and hearing that familiar broken chord to my favorite song. We screamed and sang our hearts out – what a GLORIOUS night.
I think most people have some sort of experience like that when it comes to a music artist – they go NUTS at a show. They scream, they cry, they can’t breathe - no wonder EMTs are always on site! That’s for concerts, though. When I’m not breathing the same air as Garth Brooks, I keep the token tracks on my playlist; I know every lyrics and key change, all the subtle vocal tricks in each verse like nobody else. Plus, Andrew and I want to ensure that Liam is brought up on good, quality music :)
I started thinking though: I love Garth Brooks’s music – his inflection and energy, the steel guitar, the fiddle! But what if I expressed that kind of enthusiasm for the Eucharist? and when I’m not at Mass, what if I maintained that steady flow of contact as if listening to an album over and over? The idea might seem cliche – I know I’ve heard people mention something to this effect before, but really, that kind of overwhelming excitement is meant for GOD. Don’t get me wrong – it’s not bad or blasphemous when I get chills crankin’ up No Fences, but knowing that I should have something more for Someone More is eye-opening. I use Garth for the sake of example, but the passion people have for not just celebrities and things like eating, material possessions, or spending hours on some iToy, is superficial. It’s all fleeting. We are absolutely meant to enjoy the things of this world, but with the perspective that none of them deserve the devotion and love meant for God. Someone infinitely bigger and better than Garth Brooks makes a physical appearance three times a day at the parish around the corner; and, I’m ashamed to say that sometimes I make it seem like a chore to get there. Thank God, that with a little perspective, nothing can size Him up.
“…All things were created by him and for him.” (Colossians 1:16)
Weekly Snapshot:
A new post is overdue.
I’m a big project starter. I LOVE projects – in school I loved them and now I love them in my home; but when it comes to keeping up with a personal project, I’m typically a lit match: quick to flare up, quick to burn out. For years I’ve maintained the start-up motivation to keep a regular work-out schedule, journal daily, have a regular prayer time – you get the gist. And while I might have a good first week with my sparkling endeavors, my persistence lags and the goal dissolves with the newness. I have a difficult time getting over the slump of something once the freshness has faded – am I alone on this one? My goal list is beautifully written with great intentions and bright visions of how my life will be once I start running and praying a Rosary every day – but that life of Accomplished Katie isn’t fully realized.
YET.
I write this in an effort to somehow shield my blog from becoming a dusty old project from way back when. I’m resolved to conquer the slump of Worn Off Novelty and to persist in my reflections on being a Catholic wife. Writing my thoughts, whether they’re read or not, has furthered my endeavors toward happy holiness and servitude to God and Andrew, and now Liam too. Though through other projects I have waxed and waned and let ambition go, this an occasion when I vow to not disappoint myself. I love God and holy marriage and writing – what better way to combine the three?
The idea of New Year’s resolutions tempts me and most years I don’t make even one; so many people set themselves up for failure and disappointment in their quick-starts, and I’m certainly no exception. This year however, as I sit 45 minutes away from New Year’s Eve, I have discovered the key to success is recalling twofold advice: the first, from Socrates, “Know thyself” and the second from the Archangel Gabriel, “For with God nothing will be impossible” (Luke 1:37). In knowing myself, I will be aware of my strenghts and weaknesses and so in establishing a New Year’s resolution based on these, I am really setting myself up for success instead of failure – ESPECIALLY if I submit all my goals to God.
So c’mon 2011 – hit me with your best shot.
