I relish in the blank slate each sunrise presents and, wondering with excitement, I gleefully ask the boys at breakfast, “What do you want to do today?!”

Joyful mornings haven’t always been part of my repertoire. In fact, I’m willing to bet that most of the A.M.s of my life have been spent cursing the dawn and resenting consciousness at such an early time. My poor mom had to deal with my cold silence driving me to school each day, while I clung to grumpiness as if it were the last touch of warmth from my bed. Though she sweetly abstained from confronting my mood, every single morning my mom suggested the last thing I felt like doing: “Would you like to pray?”

Don’t get me wrong, I was a happy high schooler in love with God, but wallowing in my selfish slump, praying wasn’t at the top of my to-dos. Of course, I wasn’t about to say no to such an obviously good thing to do (especially something my mom suggested), so we prayed; and what was initially a drudge to me became a happy habit that I continued after getting my own car and driving myself to school. Among the prayers my mom and I said each day was this one to the Holy Spirit, written by Désiré-Joseph Cardinal Mercier (1851-1926). His thoughts are written before and after:

I am going to reveal to you the secret of sanctity and happiness. Every day for five minutes control your imagination and close your eyes to all the noises of the world in order to enter into yourself. Then, in the sanctuary of your baptized soul (which is the temple of the Holy Spirit) speak to that Divine Spirit, saying to Him:

O Holy Spirit, beloved of my soul, I adore You. Enlighten me, guide me, strengthen me, console me. Tell me what I should do; give me Your orders. I promise to submit myself to all that You desire of me and to accept all that You permit to happen to me. Let me only know Your Will.

If you do this, your life will flow along happily, serenely, and full of consolation, even in the midst of trials. Grace will be proportioned to the trial, giving you the strength to carry it and you will arrive at the Gate of Paradise, laden with merit. This submission to the Holy Spirit is the secret of sanctity.

I admit that I was initially skeptical of Cardinal Mercier’s promise that my days and life would be transformed by this prayer, but that’s because I err on the side of doubt rather than faith when such drastic assertions are made. My days were transformed, however, because I allowed my soul to be, and now I use this as a morning offering to strengthen me in my chaos-covered work. Praying these words in sincerity is a clear invitation for humility – a jagged, virtuous pill to swallow – but grace abounds simply because I ask the Holy Spirit to cover me in fortitude and persistence. With the Holy Spirit’s protection, guidance, and consolation, I am ready to face the day, encouraged knowing that whatever comes to pass does so only by His permission and is ultimately for the good of my soul.

Another thought: Off the top, parenthood and teaching are two thankless jobs in which a person invests in another’s present and future, often uncertain or oblivious as to whether what they taught stuck with their children or students. I’m so grateful to my mom for being consistent and persistent in asking me to pray on the way to school. My demeanor was pretty icy, but in time my heart was softened because of the changes in my soul. Thanks Mom for loving me this way!

photo by Natesh Ramasamy

1) 31 Days of Living Well and Spending ZERO by Ruth Soukup at Living Well, Spending Less 
I’m slightly overly excited about this blog.
That being said, I found a pretty exciting post of hers today. And by exciting I mean dork exciting. There are a few of life’s tasks that are more often bemoaned than celebrated, but these necessities are just that – necessities – so why not handle them at least contentedly? Ok – off my soap box now to tell you that this post is all about spending nothing. Nothing. No money. For 31 days. I love stretching pennies across as many calendar blocks as I can so the title caught my attention in no time. If you’re up for a good challenge and you’re a penny pinchin’ fool like me, try it out! (Just FYI, she completed this challenge 2 months in a row – YIKES!)

2) People Who Presuppose Judgement Before It Occurs by Mary Walker at Truth & Charity
First, Mary Walker is hands-down one of my favorite bloggers. Her writing is so conversational and easy-going without a hint of it being false or forced. But I digress: As a conservative Catholic, I have predictable opinions, as Mary does and she speaks to this effect: Just because a person knows what my thoughts are regarding certain issues, doesn’t mean that I’ll judge him/her for disagreeing or living in a way contrary to what I believe. Awesome thoughts from an intelligent woman – don’t miss them!

3) Put It Into Practice by John Kovac at The Interior Life Institute
From New Year’s Resolutions to brilliant revelations, I struggle with follow-through. I have fantastic ideas but I’m horrible at pushing through the hard part to enjoy the success that comes from persevering. Kovac’s STB from the Pontifical University of St. Thomas Aquinas in Rome and no doubt his life as a family man make him an all-too perfect candidate for sticking with resolve. Make it happen, Cap’n!

Saying it was five years ago makes me feel really, really young. Like “Oh sweetie, you have no idea how new you are” kind of young. Five years is not a long time. Considering how dull my academic intellect is, however, makes me feel like it was eons ago because it might as well have been. I have vague recollections of studying theology, psychology, and world literature, but I couldn’t tell you about much of it now. I remember loving Beowulf so much that I bought myself a limited edition copy at Barnes & Noble; and then when I lost it at Coldstone, never to see it again, I bought a replacement. Don’t ask me for a summary though, because I’ll refer you to Spark Notes (Sorry, Dr. Nick).

Basically, what happened between turning my tassel and now is marriage and mommyhood. Unlike my dusty, rusty knowledge within the realm of Academia, my expertise in my own home is well beyond the Ph.D. level. As of right now I’m fluent in three forms of English: Indistinguishable, Broken-Gurgle, and Cooing. When walking into a domestic crime scene, I know immediately which kid spilled the water and which kid got too curious about my Kindle. I know how to get the stain out of any hard surface or fabric. I laugh in the face of DRY CLEAN ONLY labels. I know how to cook Andrew’s favorite foods to perfection and I can spot sprouting poison ivy in the yard from 30 feet. The daily ins and outs are etched on my brain and I have my finger on the pulse of our home. No detail goes unnoticed, though because I’m so on-demand as the wife and mama, many go unattended. 

It’s a little tough to accept and reveal – the fact that I can’t really talk politics or religion on an intelligent level anymore – because there’s something thrilling about intellectual discussion and developing theories and opinions regarding anything. It was this type of conversation that made Andrew and I fall head over heels for each other, but now if he brings up Ted Cruz or the House passing some bill, my mind and face go blank.

It’s true that the book knowledge from my days as a Raven isn’t exactly necessary for cookin’ up lunchtime mac-n-cheese, so naturally those muscles have atrophied. What I want to do is nurse them back to health because I think it’s important to keep up with current issues and maintain the ability to speak intelligently on the Catholic faith. Here in the Bible Belt, it comes in handy if you’re well versed in the rarer religion. Not to mention that it’d be fun to wax merrily on subjects outside the realm of domesticity with my husband.

And so, here’s my proposition: Once a week (for now) I will rise at a shockingly early time to devote 30-or-so minutes to study. I’ll catch up on the news or page through a papal document simply for the sake of learning. I’ll do some recreational reading, too, and finally get to the stack of books collecting dust and calling my name. Of course, I won’t do it all at once, but gradually! Though the temptation will be nearly irresistible, I will avoid tasks on my computer. No emailing, budgeting, Facebooking, blogging, etc. Nothing I could feasibly do quickly during the day.

My efforts will kick off THIS week and I’ll have to follow up on my progress to make sure my nose holds fast to the grindstone. Who knows, maybe being the early bird will make it Five Favorites eventually.

Praise the LORD it’s Thursday! Psychologically, the weekend begins TODAY and I’m all about celebrating. Here are a few other things I’ve been celebrating these days:

1) Coffee Syrup – It’s an almost daily ritual now. Around 10 when the boys enjoy their mid-morn snack, I put 4 cups of decaf on to brew and enhance the experience with a light splash of Heaven. Though caramel flavored is ever reliable, I ventured to hazelnut last week and it’s delish. A smackerel of sweetness to enhance the day, it’s refreshing and mostly guilt-free. Check your coffee aisle.

by C.D. Ryan

2) Saturdays – Saturdays are the best. They have the nicest weather, the easiest mornings, the most spontaneous afternoons, and there’s no denying Saturday nights are chock full of excited potential. Saturday is the week’s bright, blank canvas to splash with any productive or whimsical activity. Growing up, it was dedicated to washing the car in the driveway (country radio in the background), fun shopping trips, and cutting the grass. At the end of the day, we either sat back to enjoy our handiwork, watched a movie; or in my college days, we headed to the Plaza in Kansas City or Zona Rosa in Barry Road.

3) Getting rid of stuff – After channeling Ruth Soukup and minimizing our boys’ toy stash, my living room’s neatness is way easier to manage. I can’t get over it. Pick up time is a breeze and the space looks so much more open, which generally follows when you sort through the excess. The plan is to continually go through our house, evaluating whether a given item is necessary to our family or whether someone else would appreciate it more than I do. I want very much to live simply and to detach from materialism, which is a big temptation for me.

4) Americone Dream – Stephen Colbert’s signature flavor of Ben & Jerry’s ice cream. I don’t care how you feel about Colbert or ice cream, this stuff is phenomenal. A perfect blend of chocolate covered waffle cone pieces and caramel swirl in vanilla ice cream – hands down my favorite flavor to get if I’m going the binge-on-a-pint route with my husband. Try it – it’s a pretty great time.

5) Cheap flip flops – Every other year I buy a couple of pairs of $2 plastic flip flops from Walmart or Target. (Shoot, you can even find them at CVS on an end cap.) With mostly wood flooring in our house, my bare feet tend find an occasional crumb or they might discover an unreported spill from my little boys. (I solemnly swear that I sweep and vacuum frequently.) I can’t tell you how I cringe at the sensation of a crunched Cheerio underfoot, so I wear flip flops. Socks are a happy alternative but for the fact that they’re not water proof; and right up there with crunched Cheerios are wet socks. Can’t stand it. I don’t move from any location in the house without first slipping on a trusty pair of flip flops. Plus, they make the transition from being inside to going outside perfectly seamless if I’m taking out the trash or taking my big boys out back to play.

1) Why Contraception & Homosexuality Need Migratory Birds by Andrew Sciba at Truth & Charity
What makes a sin a sin? The Church decides? God decides? You decide?? The mainstream media would have its sheep believe that any and all movements against contraception and/or unchastity among homosexuals are simply stuck in the mud of prehistoric thinking. With “Get with the times, Catholic Church!” as their battle cry, the MSM fails to consider and doesn’t understand human nature and what it requires. Read further in this satirical yet factual insight from the Catholic blogosphere’s most handsome contributor, Andrew Sciba.

2) How a Married Woman Can Pursue Holiness by Fr. John Bartunek at Roman Catholic Spiritual Direction
Don’t think just because you’re a man this can’t apply to you and the same goes for all you ladies who are already in hot pursuit of sanctity. A phenomenal post encouraging holiness for the average Mrs. Jane Doe no matter where you are spiritually. While Fr. Bartunek makes several excellent book suggestions, his readers offer great insight in the comments.

God bless your Wednesday!

The call to motherhood is universal among women. It doesn’t matter if you’re married, single, with or without kids, a housewife or professional; we each possess the innate gift to nurture, which is the defining characteristic of being a mother. Think about it – we teach, we care for the sick and friends in need, we have an undeniable softness to our nature; all of which are founded on the inclination to cultivate love in others by showing love ourselves. Taking this gift beyond its basic implication of encouraging growth or development, Catholic women especially have the ability to foster holiness both in themselves and in others, which St. Teresa Benedicta of the Cross called “spiritual maternity.” The whole object of spiritual maternity is to grow in holiness by performing our day-to-day actions out of love for God over our own gratification. Of course, how to go about this varies per situation, but it could be doing chores and other tasks cheerfully instead of begrudgingly, offering a patient ear to the woebegone, being a firm witness of the Catholic faith when there is no one else, or being totally present without distraction to loved ones.

Me, my sister Jen, and my sister-in-law Erin: mothers to babies and each other | photo by Sarah Schinstock

And if you’re still at a loss as to how to approach this relatively new idea, look no further than the thousands of success stories brought to you straight from Heaven. One of the greatest gifts we’ve received as spiritual mothers is the example of countless women saints who constantly accepted God’s grace to do his will – St. Therese of Lisieux in her small acts of love, St. Elizabeth of Hungary and her devotion to the poor, St. Monica and her unrelenting prayers for her abusive, pagan husband and lascivious son, and St. Elizabeth Ann Seton and her dedication to Catholic education. What gives me the most hope of their situations is knowing that none of them were perfect. Not a single one. Each woman had her own crosses to bear, temptations to deny, and doubt when it came to trying to do God’s will; and that is something I can completely identify with. If they overcame all of this by the grace of God, these normal, faithful women, then why not me? Reading the stories of these saints encourages my feeble soul and instructs me in the way to go – humbly and happily.

Of course, I would be completely remiss if I failed to mention the highest among these amazing saints is the Blessed Virgin Mary – the very embodiment of both biological and spiritual maternity. Set apart among women, Mary always points her children to obey Christ and to humbly and eagerly participate in God’s will. Prime examples of Mary’s spiritual maternity are her instructions to “do whatever [Jesus] tells you” in the Gospel of John and her obedience in being a “handmaid of the Lord” in Luke at the Annunciation of Christ. In Mary lies the very mission of spiritual maternity as beautifully and simply described by Pope Emeritus Benedict XVI: “Mary’s greatness consists in the fact that she wants to magnify God and not herself.” A good spiritual mother imitates Mary like this and she pours herself out adoring God in serving others and unselfish love for God’s perfect will. 

me with my mom Mary and  Jen – both have taken care of me my whole life in all sorts of ways! | photo by Sarah Schinstock

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Original edition published for the Catholic Connection.

photo by jeeked

Wanting to stave off a looming feeling of emotional distance between us, Andrew had a brilliant idea to keep our marriage in our sights. Splitting $20 every month, we take on the mission of finding small gifts for each other. Gift cards, movies, lunch at Panera, etc. As long as it fits inside $10 (+tax), we’re good to go. For April I found a steal of a deal on Amazon and purchased The Hobbit for him for $10 even, while he found a similar deal and surprised me with My Fair Lady – a total success!

The two conditions on our little project are A) we have to remain within budget and B) because the monthly gift fund is budgeted, a gift must be obtained. Of course, it’s perfectly acceptable to go under $10.

The whole point, aside from the fun of it, is to keep us focused on us. We’re both involved in all sorts of activities, plus there are the kids and house that demand our attention. It’d be too easy to lose the spark and loving regard for each other amid distraction. We’ve done only one month, but it’s a blast and I can’t wait to see what we come up with next. Not only is it absolutely sweet and delightful to get a surprise from Andrew, but it’s also exciting shopping around for him. It encourages getting to know each other well enough to keep up gift-giving creativity; and with a little spark like this, it maintains our love connection without a problem!

1) 10 Habits to Strengthen Your Relationship With Your Child by Dr. Laura Markham of Aha! Parenting.com 
With the giddy arrival of a new baby, our world has been rocked hard by this little guy {precious, isn’t he??} and juggling everything on the new family scene has been tough. Sleeping and eating have been our main concerns while we’re in SURVIVAL MODE, but Andrew and I have kept a watchful eye on our older two and how they’re adapting to a new brother. Their coping abilities seemed to roller-coaster and we were at a bit of a loss as to how to help them exactly when I stumbled upon this article. I can’t say enough about how it’s brought us back to the basics of parenting – hugs and time. 

2) “NFP doesn’t work. You have so many kids!” by Dwija at House Unseen. Life Unscripted.
We have three kids. Three kids aged 3 and under; so naturally, I get plenty of raised eyebrows, questions, and criticism even from when my baby bump was just starting to show with #3. Almost embarrassed, I fell into the trap the author Dwija describes – feeling like we’re bad at practicing NFP because we’ve had 3 kids in 3 years so obviously it doesn’t work, right? WRONG – NFP stands for Natural Family Planning, not Natural Family Postponing (or even Predicting!), which means that you’re open to receiving the gift of children at all times, in accordance with your vows.

3) Women deacons and priests
For as long as I can recall, there’s been plenty of tense talk over whether women should be able to become deacons and priests, er priestesses. I read a recent article saying that the idea, at least in Germany, is no longer “taboo.” Sorry, but as far as I know, it’s never been taboo. The answer is no simply because the Catholic Church doesn’t have the authority to ordain women. Let me say before referring you to someone who explains it all very clearly, that it’s not a matter of the Church “allowing” women to become priests or not – the priesthood isn’t just a functional vocation, but an indelible mark upon a man’s soul. Aside from the more concrete reasons discussed at Catholic.com, my thoughts go the charisms founds in each sex. A man can’t be a mother; a woman can’t be a father. A man can’t be a religious sister; a woman can’t be a priest – but both are required for the Church to thrive. There’s nothing uncharitable about acknowledging the respective strengths in each and their corresponding roles within the Church. In an interview with MSNBC during the Conclave, three seminarians (including the kid brother of one of my college friends) addressed this issue – one of whom offered “It’s important to keep in mind that the model of every Catholic and of every priest is a woman, the Blessed Virgin Mary, the heart of the Church’s life is the feminine genius that is the Mother of God.” 

4) Why I took my kids’ toys away {and why they won’t get them back} by Ruth Soukup at Living Well, Spending Less
I don’t know how I found this article, but implementing its general ideas has improved my day-to-day interactions with our boys. This lady noted her daughter’s bad case of the Gimmes in what should have been a fun family experience. On a whim, she packed up her kids’ toys and was shocked at the lasting, positive effect it had on their whole family. Last weekend, we stuffed three trash bags with toys and donated them without the boys even knowing. Their room and our living room are much neater and when toys are scattered, they’re easily picked up and organized by even the little ones. The boys play more with the toys they do have and seldom request TV. They’re creative and content. I’ve heard our oldest singing to himself a lot more, which in my book is a Happiness Meter :) Don’t miss this piece – it’s drastic, but shoot it works!

But then I saw this.

A solid reminder that I need to focus on serving my family and being sweet and gentle with both my boys and my husband. I’ve been overwhelmed by the huge changes a tiny baby can bring and reading this quotation has refocused me to simply love. I will address the needs I can and offer my feeble efforts to God for Him to magnify.

Today I am setting everything aside and choosing to love my family in very little, specific ways.

Before my oldest child was baptized (4 years ago), we attended preparation classes at our church. On one of the nights, we discussed various ways to teach the Catholic faith to him. He was just a few months old. It felt like it would be a long time before I needed any of that information.

Then, I blinked. He is at the perfect age for learning and growing in faith.

One thing that stood out to me during those classes was the section that talked about building memories and traditions. One of the pages said, “Children spell love T-I-M-E.” 

This has always been in my mind and in my heart, but sometimes I let the busyness of life get in the way of spending real time with my kids.

The other day, my son and I put together a puzzle while his sister napped. As we put the pieces together, we talked about silly things. We laughed. His imagination ran wild with one story after another. As I sat across from him, genuinely invested in the simple moment, I suddenly understood. This quiet, yet quality time is exactly how he knows that I love him.

It’s the moments I give him free from distractions- no television, no phone, no computer, or housework.

He feels my love for him and suddenly I’ve given him the perfect introduction to an even greater love- God’s. What better way to teach the faith to a child than to model God’s love to him? And what better way to model God’s love than to be totally invested and completely tuned in?

Our days could certainly use more time like that. He’s four years old and getting bigger before my eyes. His little sister is nearly two. When I think about the hours and all the days I’ve wasted on worry, stress, and distractions, it breaks my heart.

Life is chaotic and busy. If we aren’t intentional, we can quickly lose sight of what’s important. 

What is getting in the way of real, genuine time with the people you care about- your children, your husband, your family, or other valuable relationships?

We all spell love T-I-M-E, don’t we?

I’d like to challenge you to spend some real, quality time with the important people in your life today- no distractions. Turn off the T.V. Sit down for dinner together. Step away from the Internet. Spend time in prayer. Thank God for the gift of family and for time together uninterrupted.

Time will keep ticking. Life will keep moving forward. Let’s not miss out on opportunities to spend time with the ones we love and spread God’s love in the process.

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Leanne Willen enjoys writing about faith, family, and finding happiness. Her blog, Life Happens When, encourages others (and herself) to embrace the moment and enjoy the journey of life.