Vocation involves monotony; there is so much sameness played on repeat; work and sleep without much in between, and I tell you what, I have been really feeling this reality lately. The moment my toes touch the floor, the morning is hurried and the rest of the day thrown together. The kids are my alarm as I reach over for a supportive touch from the husband, but brush his cool pillow instead – it’s his prayer time and he’s been out of bed and the house for a while. I have an hour to get the Catholic Kids fed, make a lunch for Andrew, and locate vaguely clean clothes for the boys before a quick Bye, Love! kiss and rush to get our 4 year old to preschool. Homeschooling, pick up aforementioned preschooler, lunch, forced outside time, What’s for dinner?!! Hey Baby, how was your day? leave the dishes in the sink, fantasize about investing in whole-life paper plates, pajamas and brushing four sets of tiny teeth, add the day’s undone chores to tomorrow’s list.
Second verse! Same as the first…
photo by DanielJames; I can’t tell you how many yawns I caught looking at this sweet baby
It’s so easy for me to be exhausted and rebellious in the midst of repetition – I feel restless and occasionally I’m jumping for the chance to do something fresh and different; but, on [ALL THE] days when that opportunity isn’t afforded, I have to remain. Caught up in myself and my own world, looking out the window at the heat or the rain, the conditions are right for ennui.
This isn’t exclusive to the life at home. I remember countless days of this feeling when I was working full time; no matter how much I loved my job (and I did!), there were days when I would glance at the clock once and then again 5 minutes later, feeling like an eternity had passed between. It was this way in school too – even as far back as elementary.
Do you ever just wish you were somewhere else?
On one of my hardest mornings, I waved goodbye to Andrew from the porch and, seeing a plane soar overhead, I cried because I wished so painfully that I were on it. Who cares where it was going? Somebody take me away!
Life is repetitious and stuck in the rut, we trudge through hoping for a thrill or some bit of excitement to whisk us away to a land of everlasting newness; a place where we’re not the ones in charge all of the time, where we can be fancy-free and laughing all the way. I’m diving into the Diary of St. Faustina and came upon this blessed passage that at once I knew applied to those of us who endure that love/hate relationship with the daily grind:
O life so dull and monotonous, how many treasures you contain! When I look at everything with the eyes of faith, no two hours are alike, and the dullness and monotony disappear. The grace which is given me in this hour will not be repeated in the next. It may be given me again, but it will not be the same grace. (St. Faustina, paragraph 62)
When we seek and find God in our days, in our drudge, it’s no longer a drudge. God offers us countless graces to not just get through the day but to fully live it and experience it. It’s funny how little truths you hear your whole life suddenly hit you one late night – and the one that just struck me is that God has a plan for me TODAY. How will I respond to His abundant offering of various graces? He has a plan for my tomorrow as well and if I’m open and attentive to the promptings of the Holy Spirit, then I’ll be able to follow accordingly. The Life in Christ is never inwardly dull, though routine and monotony may remain, God is certainly not the Author of boredom.
I came that they might have life and have it abundantly. (John 10:10)
edited re-post from September 2012
featured image by Javier Vieras; text added by Katie Sciba